PHILADELPHIA– In a sudden and drastic change to his wardrobe, local man Stuart Mason has reportedly purchased a pair of no-show socks to bypass the excruciating visual reminder that he’s wearing socks. “For years, I’ve been plagued by my paradoxical desire to not only wear socks but also have no ostensible evidence of my sock wearing,” said an exalted Mason, caressing his now clearly visible upper ankles. “I’ve already burned my entire supply of low-cut socks; no-show socks have saved me from the labyrinthine hell that is my mind.” At press time, reports confirmed that Mason was eagerly awaiting his shipment of flesh-colored gloves.
