PHILADELPHIA– With the “hot vax” summer getting underway many folks have forgotten proper sex etiquette after not engaging in casual sex for over a year. “I looked at my phone pretty much every waking moment during quarantine so it’s hard to stop looking at it even during sex. How soon after sex is it chill to start looking at it again?” wondered Kensington resident Jay Deeley when we encountered him in our bed.

Mary McIntosh, from Planned Parenthood, has fielded hundreds of questions like Deeley’s. She advised: “Talk to your partner and see what they are comfortable with. Some people might even be cool with looking at phones during sex.”

The Satirer is advising that if someone goes into the bathroom after sex, it is ok to look at your phone because they are probably looking at theirs.

Damien Wendy

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EDITOR’S NOTE: Gibbs has amended his final comment to read “OH! WOW!” We apologize for any confusion.

Staff

For when all of us write something or we’re too cowardly to put a name on an article. Hey, we’d like to be employed by whatever soulless corporation did a Google search to make sure we’re not a moron! Now you won’t know which one of us is the moron and you have to hire whoever applied!

thephiladelphiasatirer.com

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