Dildo Archives - The Philadelphia Satirer https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/tag/dildo/ Committed to dispensable journalism Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:38:03 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.2.2 https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/cropped-PS_logo_512_trans-32x32.png Dildo Archives - The Philadelphia Satirer https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/tag/dildo/ 32 32 Girlfriend Comes Back With Larger Strap-On Than Expected https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/2020/06/17/girlfriend-comes-back-with-larger-strap-on-than-expected/ Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:38:02 +0000 https://philadelphiasatirer.com/?p=222 Putting in place the lessons from a recent BDSM class, Patricia Reed surprised boyfriend Bruce Gibbs by entering his bedroom with an unexpectedly girthy strap-on dildo.

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]]> BROOKLYN – Putting in place the lessons from a recent BDSM class, Patricia Reed surprised boyfriend Bruce Gibbs by entering his bedroom with an unexpectedly girthy strap-on dildo. “Oh, you wanted to try this tonight?” Gibbs inquired. “I mean, I’m excited too, I just didn’t think we’d add in the extra stuff so soon.” As Reed tightened the straps, Gibbs muttered, “It just didn’t look that big online…” When reached for comment, Gibbs stammered, “Oh wow…oh geez, man that’s… Oh, wow. Just wow. Wooof. Well…wow. Oh wow. Geez, I just…wow. Wow oh wow. Well I don’t…but well we–I just. Wow. What? They make them THAT…wow. Oh wow.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: Gibbs has amended his final comment to read “OH! WOW!” We apologize for any confusion.

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