PHILADELPHIA, PA— The challenges of this past year have forced many people to evolve their daily routines, including our many #GirlBosses out there. We talked to one self-described #GirlBoss, 24-year-old Emily Dawson, to see how she is taking control and facing the uncontrolled spread of a terrifying and deadly virus head-on.

“Actually, nothing in my life is really all that different. Everyday I wake up and walk to my local woman-owned coffee shop, about 15 minutes away. Then I do some yoga and meditation exercises to channel my inner #BossBabe for about fifteen minutes, and then I chop up fresh fruit for my morning shake that gives me plenty of energy to be a #GirlBoss all day long, which takes about fifteen minutes to prepare. And of course in between each of these activities, I’m devoting plenty of time to diligently check that my computer screen looks active on Skype for Business. The vital key to being a successful #GirlBoss in this new era of the pandemic is to be able to effortlessly multitask and juggle multiple items simultaneously. Thinking of it now, I guess I’ve just done a really good job at keeping things consistent even in such scary and uncertain times. You can’t let your fear of the coronavirus control your life! It’s like my favorite Girl Boss herself’s husband, Franklin Delano Roosevelt used to say, ‘All we have to fear is fear itself.’”

Leah Frances

The post Inspiring! This Girl Boss Gets Paid To Swivel Her Mouse Every 15 Minutes appeared first on The Philadelphia Satirer.

PHILADELPHIA- A new report finds that 73% of South Philly Italians strongly support their city’s police union despite recent backlash. The Satirer interviewed one South Philly native by the name of Don Esposito to get his perspective.

“Maybe I’m old fashioned but back in my day we did crime a little different. We had real professionals working on the job,” said Esposito. “There were none of these news headlines, no crying in the streets, no riots, none of that. If Nicky Scarfo organized a march, I tell ya, it’d be single file lines and we’d never hear about it, that’s all I can say. Organization—that’s what I’m talking about. The crime these days, it’s all too sloppy for me. You got people everywhere, all over the streets, spray painting, chanting, smashing windows, causing a ruckus.”

When asked by the Satirer what advice he would give to protesters, Esposito said, “I will tell you this, my message to all the kids out there trying to make a difference: Stop. You can’t go around asking the police to leave you alone and then throwing a riot every time they don’t. Cops are real simple, and I would know on account of my brother-in-law being one. Slide ‘em a few bucks next time and they might think twice about knocking down your door. But you didn’t hear it from me. I’m just a simple guy, born and raised in South Philly, putting on my black pinstriped suit every day just like anybody else.”

Leah Frances

The post Report: South Philly Italians Are Tough On Crime Unless It Seems Organized appeared first on The Philadelphia Satirer.