{"id":858,"date":"2021-02-05T14:39:24","date_gmt":"2021-02-05T19:39:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/?p=858"},"modified":"2021-02-05T15:08:13","modified_gmt":"2021-02-05T20:08:13","slug":"millions-left-without-personalities-as-disney-delays-marvel-phase-4-films-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/02\/05\/millions-left-without-personalities-as-disney-delays-marvel-phase-4-films-again\/","title":{"rendered":"Millions Left Without Personalities As Disney Delays Marvel Phase 4 Films Again"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Photo on the right by cottonbro<\/a><\/strong> from Pexels<\/a><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

ANAHEIM, CA \u2013 Tragedy struck this week as the personalities of millions of people were taken away, following Disney\u2019s announcement of the status of Marvel\u2019s Phase 4 films.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chairman of Marvel Entertainment Issac Permutter addressed the delay in a press conference. \u201cWe\u2019re disappointed but optimistic that this delay will lead to higher revenues. We\u2019re hoping our data scientists can turn up some new trends so we can shoehorn some more relevant themes into them, and see if we can increase viewership. Wait, is this the press conference or the shareholder meeting?! Forget what I just said! The delay is for artistic reasons!!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Insurance salesman Richard Brackman was especially hard hit by the news. \u201cOur watercooler talk has exclusively revolved around the MCU since 2012\u201d, Richard said. \u201cWhat are we supposed to talk about now, our kids? The fuck am I going to say about them?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOur daughter was supposed to have a Black Widow themed birthday party this month,\u201d Richard\u2019s wife Lorraine lamented. \u201cWe were going to legally change her name to Natasha Romanoff Brackman for her present. How\u2019s that going to make any sense if the movie\u2019s not out yet?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI guess we\u2019ll just have to find some other stuff to watch in the break, just to get by\u201d, Brackman sighed. \u201cUgh, I can\u2019t believe we\u2019re finally going to have to watch the new Justice League.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

ANAHEIM, CA \u2013 Tragedy struck this week as the personalities of millions of people were taken away, following Disney\u2019s announcement of the status of Marvel\u2019s…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":860,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[5,79],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nMillions Left Without Personalities As Disney Delays Marvel Phase 4 Films Again - The Philadelphia Satirer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/02\/05\/millions-left-without-personalities-as-disney-delays-marvel-phase-4-films-again\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Millions Left Without Personalities As Disney Delays Marvel Phase 4 Films Again - 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