{"id":737,"date":"2021-01-02T12:33:03","date_gmt":"2021-01-02T17:33:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/?p=737"},"modified":"2021-01-02T12:33:05","modified_gmt":"2021-01-02T17:33:05","slug":"local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/","title":{"rendered":"Local Dog Handsome, But Not In Sexual Way"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
Photo by Eugene Chystiakov<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a><\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

PHILADELPHIA– Defending his statements even though no one said anything about it, neighbor Steve Hilford clarified on Wednesday that although he finds one of the local dogs handsome, it\u2019s not in a sexual way. \u201cI think he\u2019s just so cute, but not in that<\/em> way,\u201d explained Hilford, adding that although the dog has beautiful eyes, he wouldn\u2019t want to gaze into them over dinner at his favorite restaurant. \u201cHe\u2019s got really healthy looking teeth, but that doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019d want to kiss him while we watch Netflix or anything. And even though he has the most adorable paws, I would never imagine sliding a ring onto one of them after getting down on one knee and saying, \u2018Bingo, will you marry me?\u2019 \u201c Hilford added that although he is man\u2019s best friend, he can\u2019t see them becoming more than that. When asked for comment, the dog said, \u201csorry pal but I don\u2019t swing that way.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

PHILADELPHIA– Defending his statements even though no one said anything about it, neighbor Steve Hilford clarified on Wednesday that although he finds one of the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":739,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[63,197,198],"yoast_head":"\nLocal Dog Handsome, But Not In Sexual Way - The Philadelphia Satirer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Local Dog Handsome, But Not In Sexual Way - The Philadelphia Satirer\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"PHILADELPHIA– Defending his statements even though no one said anything about it, neighbor Steve Hilford clarified on Wednesday that although he finds one of the…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Philadelphia Satirer\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-01-02T17:33:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-01-02T17:33:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/eugene-chystiakov-kdFDewk4uHU-unsplash-1-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1435\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Russ Bizaro\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@rbizaro\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@philasatirer\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Russ Bizaro\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/45137f06a647d4ba69aca18331851c91\"},\"headline\":\"Local Dog Handsome, But Not In Sexual Way\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-01-02T17:33:03+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-01-02T17:33:05+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/\"},\"wordCount\":177,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"Dog\",\"Handsome\",\"Nonsexual\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Nature\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/\",\"name\":\"Local Dog Handsome, But Not In Sexual Way - The Philadelphia Satirer\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2021-01-02T17:33:03+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-01-02T17:33:05+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Local Dog Handsome, But Not In Sexual Way\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/\",\"name\":\"Philadelphia Satirer\",\"description\":\"Committed to dispensable journalism\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Philadelphia Satirer\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/image.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/image.png\",\"width\":1056,\"height\":138,\"caption\":\"Philadelphia Satirer\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/\",\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/philasatirer\",\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/45137f06a647d4ba69aca18331851c91\",\"name\":\"Russ Bizaro\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/e6d0d4b36464b14665640f246666c2b3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/e6d0d4b36464b14665640f246666c2b3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Russ Bizaro\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/\",\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/rbizaro\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/author\/rbizaro\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Local Dog Handsome, But Not In Sexual Way - The Philadelphia Satirer","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Local Dog Handsome, But Not In Sexual Way - The Philadelphia Satirer","og_description":"PHILADELPHIA– Defending his statements even though no one said anything about it, neighbor Steve Hilford clarified on Wednesday that although he finds one of the…","og_url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/","og_site_name":"The Philadelphia Satirer","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/","article_published_time":"2021-01-02T17:33:03+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-01-02T17:33:05+00:00","og_image":[{"width":2560,"height":1435,"url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/eugene-chystiakov-kdFDewk4uHU-unsplash-1-scaled.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Russ Bizaro","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@rbizaro","twitter_site":"@philasatirer","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/"},"author":{"name":"Russ Bizaro","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/45137f06a647d4ba69aca18331851c91"},"headline":"Local Dog Handsome, But Not In Sexual Way","datePublished":"2021-01-02T17:33:03+00:00","dateModified":"2021-01-02T17:33:05+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/"},"wordCount":177,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization"},"keywords":["Dog","Handsome","Nonsexual"],"articleSection":["Nature"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/","url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/","name":"Local Dog Handsome, But Not In Sexual Way - The Philadelphia Satirer","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2021-01-02T17:33:03+00:00","dateModified":"2021-01-02T17:33:05+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/01\/02\/local-dog-handsome-but-not-in-sexual-way\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Local Dog Handsome, But Not In Sexual Way"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/","name":"Philadelphia Satirer","description":"Committed to dispensable journalism","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization","name":"Philadelphia Satirer","url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/image.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/image.png","width":1056,"height":138,"caption":"Philadelphia Satirer"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/","https:\/\/twitter.com\/philasatirer","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/45137f06a647d4ba69aca18331851c91","name":"Russ Bizaro","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/e6d0d4b36464b14665640f246666c2b3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/e6d0d4b36464b14665640f246666c2b3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Russ Bizaro"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/","https:\/\/twitter.com\/rbizaro"],"url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/author\/rbizaro\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/737"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=737"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/737\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":740,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/737\/revisions\/740"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/739"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=737"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=737"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=737"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}