{"id":631,"date":"2020-12-09T18:26:34","date_gmt":"2020-12-09T23:26:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/?p=631"},"modified":"2021-09-16T17:46:50","modified_gmt":"2021-09-16T21:46:50","slug":"mitch-mcconnell-being-brought-to-vet-to-express-his-glands","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2020\/12\/09\/mitch-mcconnell-being-brought-to-vet-to-express-his-glands\/","title":{"rendered":"Mitch McConnell Being Brought To Vet To Express His Glands"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"616\" src=\"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/mitch_2.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-632\" srcset=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/mitch_2.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/mitch_2-300x180.jpg 300w, https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/mitch_2-768x462.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>WASHINGTON D.C.&#8211; Sitting in a crate with a blanket draped over it to keep him calm, Senator Mitch McConnell is being brought to the veterinarian this afternoon to express his glands. \u201cIt\u2019s actually pretty normal for the Senate Majority Leader to need his anal glands expressed every year or so,\u201d says veterinarian Jill Seaback, while squeezing into a second set of latex gloves. \u201cAn easy way to tell when Mitch McConnell needs his glands expressed is if you see him scooting his butt across the carpet of the Senate floor.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cDiet plays a big role in prevention,\u201d she continues. \u201cIf you find your Senate Majority Leader starts to get these often, I always recommend switching to Purina\u2019s premium blend, which now comes in beef or peanut butter flavors.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Seaback says there are also ways to perform the procedure at home. \u201cYou\u2019ll have to grip the Senate Majority Leader\u2019s anal gland with your thumb and forefinger, and then squeeze in a gentle milking motion. For more tips, you can search online for \u201cHow to express Mitch McConnell\u2019s glands at home.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cAfter the procedure is done, your Senate Majority Leader might start biting his crotch if it itches. For those cases, we usually put a big cone around his neck,\u201d Seaback suggests. \u201cAnd when he gets home, make sure to reward him with a treat and tell him how good of a boy he was today.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At press time, Mitch McConnell was happy to be back to a normal day on the Senate floor, sniffing other elected officials&#8217; butts to get to know each other better.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>WASHINGTON D.C.&#8211; Sitting in a crate with a blanket draped over it to keep him calm, Senator Mitch McConnell is being brought to the veterinarian&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":632,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10,67],"tags":[186,187,184,183,185],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.12 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Mitch McConnell Being Brought To Vet To Express His Glands - 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