{"id":622,"date":"2020-12-08T12:30:00","date_gmt":"2020-12-08T17:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/?p=622"},"modified":"2020-12-09T11:51:32","modified_gmt":"2020-12-09T16:51:32","slug":"pros-and-cons-of-releasing-a-colony-of-monkeys-in-fairmount-park","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2020\/12\/08\/pros-and-cons-of-releasing-a-colony-of-monkeys-in-fairmount-park\/","title":{"rendered":"Pros And Cons Of Releasing A Colony Of Monkeys In Fairmount Park"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
Photo by Danny Postma<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a><\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Pro: It’ll become easier to release your pet monkey into the wild.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Con: It’ll take business away from the historic Philadelphia Zoo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pro: It’ll take business away from the inhumane Philadelphia Zoo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Con: They would probably not be the monkeys that went into outer space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pro: Monkeys might play bocce ball with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Con: They have hair all over their bodies, so it’s hard to tell which part’s their head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pro: Monkeys have thumbs, so they might make decent disc golf players.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Con: They might be too good and that’s no fun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pro: Monkeys look awesome when climbing and swinging and stuff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Con: They’ll rip your face off your head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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