{"id":394,"date":"2020-09-26T17:17:03","date_gmt":"2020-09-26T21:17:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/?p=394"},"modified":"2020-09-26T17:17:37","modified_gmt":"2020-09-26T21:17:37","slug":"cheesesteak-in-self-quarantine-after-exposure-to-trump","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2020\/09\/26\/cheesesteak-in-self-quarantine-after-exposure-to-trump\/","title":{"rendered":"Cheesesteak In Self-Quarantine After Exposure To Trump"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"752\" height=\"531\" src=\"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/IMG_6049.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-395\" srcset=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/IMG_6049.jpg 752w, https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/IMG_6049-300x212.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 752px) 100vw, 752px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>PHILADELPHIA &#8211; The cheesesteak who was forced into a nonconsensual photo-op aboard Air Force One last week has announced that he is in self-quarantine after being exposed to an unmasked Donald Trump. \u201cHe breathed all over me even if he doesn\u2019t have COVID the hot noxious swill that touched me born from his lungs has made me inedible for at least 14 days,&#8221; said the steak. &#8220;After this, I\u2019m going to be thrown into a freezer until it is safe for someone to eat me.\u201d When pressed the cheesesteak wished that Trump took the photo-op a step further and actually consumed him to put him out of his misery. \u201cHowever,&#8221; added the cheesesteak. &#8220;That wouldn&#8217;t have worked because I\u2019m actually a photo grade cheesesteak, the kind that they use in movies or commercials. So they wouldn\u2019t let him put ketchup on me because it\u2019s against union regulations. He threw a tantrum about the ketchup and I was whisked from the plane seconds after the photo was taken.\u201d At press time President Trump had gotten wind of the Cheesesteak\u2019s ketchup allegations and addressed it with a tweet: \u201cFake News! One of the worst cheesesteaks I\u2019ve ever eaten and I\u2019ve had some bad ones!\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>PHILADELPHIA &#8211; The cheesesteak who was forced into a nonconsensual photo-op aboard Air Force One last week has announced that he is in self-quarantine after&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":395,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[94,67],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.12 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Cheesesteak In Self-Quarantine After Exposure To Trump - The Philadelphia Satirer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2020\/09\/26\/cheesesteak-in-self-quarantine-after-exposure-to-trump\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Cheesesteak In Self-Quarantine After Exposure To Trump - 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