{"id":378,"date":"2020-09-18T10:29:17","date_gmt":"2020-09-18T14:29:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/?p=378"},"modified":"2020-09-19T18:53:47","modified_gmt":"2020-09-19T22:53:47","slug":"nations-romantic-novelists-discover-perfect-phrasing-to-describe-womens-saucy-coochies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2020\/09\/18\/nations-romantic-novelists-discover-perfect-phrasing-to-describe-womens-saucy-coochies\/","title":{"rendered":"Nation\u2019s Romantic Novelists Discover Perfect Phrasing to Describe Women\u2019s Saucy Coochies"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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NASA HQ PHOTO is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0. Image source<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

TOLEDO, OH – The marquee panel discussion at this year\u2019s Association of Romantic Novelists and Romance Enthusiasts Convention surprised attendees with the results of a decades-long clandestine research project about the best way to describe women\u2019s nether regions. \u201cWe\u2019re thrilled to have finally settled on a word to accurately represent one\u2019s womanhood,\u201d shared Ernest Hastings, who recently received criticism for using \u201cclam bake\u201d to describe a woman-woman sex scene in his latest novel Ocean of My Love<\/em>. \u201cFor years, we\u2019ve received feedback that phrases such as \u2018pearly secrets,\u2019 \u2018slick heat,\u2019 and \u2018moistened depths\u2019 took readers out of the throes of passionate story making – but no more!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Speaking after the panel, the Association of Romantic Novelists Education Coordinator, Neal Pearson, divulged, \u201cWe\u2019re launching an education campaign to get male writers to adopt the new phrasing, post-haste!\u201d Pearson, who achieved fame as the first author to describe eyes as \u201calluring orb balls\u201d in his bestselling book Women Who Want Me<\/em>, can\u2019t wait to tackle other issues facing the romance novel enthusiasts\u2019 community. Premier among those issues? Updating the Association of Romantic Novelists\u2019 pamphlet, \u2018Ways to Say Sex is Happening,\u2019 by replacing the phrases \u201che thrust himself into her,\u201d \u201crose up to meet her womanhood,\u201d and \u201cthe age-old dance of knocking boots.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

At press time, Kara McBride, the sole female attendee, expressed confusion that the convention felt the need to even announce that the word \u201cvagina\u201d was appropriate to use in literature in the first place.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

TOLEDO, OH – The marquee panel discussion at this year\u2019s Association of Romantic Novelists and Romance Enthusiasts Convention surprised attendees with the results of a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":381,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[22],"tags":[90,87,86,89,88],"yoast_head":"\nNation\u2019s Romantic Novelists Discover Perfect Phrasing to Describe Women\u2019s Saucy Coochies - The Philadelphia Satirer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2020\/09\/18\/nations-romantic-novelists-discover-perfect-phrasing-to-describe-womens-saucy-coochies\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Nation\u2019s Romantic Novelists Discover Perfect Phrasing to Describe Women\u2019s Saucy Coochies - 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