{"id":1496,"date":"2022-04-16T14:10:55","date_gmt":"2022-04-16T18:10:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/?p=1496"},"modified":"2022-04-16T14:10:59","modified_gmt":"2022-04-16T18:10:59","slug":"dennys-adds-super-glue-to-pancake-mix-to-shut-up-those-theater-kids-after-rehearsal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/04\/16\/dennys-adds-super-glue-to-pancake-mix-to-shut-up-those-theater-kids-after-rehearsal\/","title":{"rendered":"Denny’s Adds Super Glue To Pancake Mix To Shut Up Those Theater Kids After Rehearsal"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
Photo by Edson Salda\u00f1a<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a>\n <\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

BORDENTOWN, NJ– Tired of overly enthusiastic teens singing show tunes in their restaurant, Denny\u2019s announced Tuesday that the company has added super glue to their beloved pancake mix. Denny\u2019s hopes that this new ingredient will keep local theater kids quiet while families try to enjoy their meal. Before the official announcement, Denny\u2019s tested out this practice in a select few locations, including Bordentown, New Jersey.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One waitress at the Denny\u2019s Bordentown location, Tippy \u201cKnives\u201d Johnson, lamented about how disruptive the local theater kids once were. Johnson stated, \u201cthose damn kids would pile in at seven o\u2019clock, order their food in fake British accents, and play something called \u2018zip, zap, zop.\u2019 The hostess had to stop seating them in my section or they were gonna find out why they call me \u2018Knives.\u2019 \u201d When asked about the results of the super glue pancake mix, Johnson said, \u201cthe last time I felt this level of peace was before I earned my nickname.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Local high school theater student, Daniel Simmons, who insisted on being interviewed after his visit from Denny\u2019s, stated, \u201cmmmm, mmmmm. Mmmm mmmmm mmmmm? Mmm mmm mmmm mmm.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Denny\u2019s announced that this new ingredient will be enforced at all Denny\u2019s locations starting this Friday, coincidentally at the same time as rehearsal season begins.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

BORDENTOWN, NJ– Tired of overly enthusiastic teens singing show tunes in their restaurant, Denny\u2019s announced Tuesday that the company has added super glue to their…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":1498,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[78],"tags":[456,458,457,459],"yoast_head":"\nDenny's Adds Super Glue To Pancake Mix To Shut Up Those Theater Kids After Rehearsal - The Philadelphia Satirer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/04\/16\/dennys-adds-super-glue-to-pancake-mix-to-shut-up-those-theater-kids-after-rehearsal\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Denny's Adds Super Glue To Pancake Mix To Shut Up Those Theater Kids After Rehearsal - 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