{"id":1391,"date":"2022-01-25T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-01-25T13:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/?p=1391"},"modified":"2022-01-23T14:47:34","modified_gmt":"2022-01-23T19:47:34","slug":"auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/","title":{"rendered":"Auditor’s Report Reveals That HR Department Does Exactly What You Think They Do (Nothing)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
Photo by Arlington Research<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a>\n <\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

PHILADELPHIA– A new auditor’s report conducted at Big Fat Large Company reveals that employees working within the Human Resources department do absolutely nothing during working hours, reaching just about everyone’s expectations for what they are capable of.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe report was ordered after hearing multiple serious allegations that members of our HR team have not actually been working during work hours\u2013or any hours for that matter,\u201d the CEO shared in a pre-recorded Zoom meeting that was later leaked on TikTok. \u201cEven worse, when I arrived at the department to discuss the matter, I was shocked to find that googly-eyed cardboard cutouts had replaced their cold-blooded bodies at each of their cubicles,\u201d he further shared with the rest of the unsurprised company.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The report has been sent to Big Fat Large Company\u2019s parent company, Super Big Fat Large Inc., for further investigation however it is unlikely anything will change because, well, who wants to get HR involved in anything anyways? When pressed for comment by the Satirer, Big Fat Large Company disclosed that the auditor’s report was originally issued by its own HR department.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

PHILADELPHIA– A new auditor’s report conducted at Big Fat Large Company reveals that employees working within the Human Resources department do absolutely nothing during working…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":26,"featured_media":1393,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[313],"tags":[426,428,427,84],"yoast_head":"\nAuditor's Report Reveals That HR Department Does Exactly What You Think They Do (Nothing) - The Philadelphia Satirer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Auditor's Report Reveals That HR Department Does Exactly What You Think They Do (Nothing) - The Philadelphia Satirer\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"PHILADELPHIA– A new auditor’s report conducted at Big Fat Large Company reveals that employees working within the Human Resources department do absolutely nothing during working…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Philadelphia Satirer\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-01-25T13:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-01-23T19:47:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Auditor-Report-Reveals-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1457\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Isabella Quiros\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@philasatirer\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@philasatirer\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Isabella Quiros\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5d9a6f45133e64fa97dba2e2bce2a037\"},\"headline\":\"Auditor’s Report Reveals That HR Department Does Exactly What You Think They Do (Nothing)\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-01-25T13:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-01-23T19:47:34+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/\"},\"wordCount\":208,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"Auditor\",\"Department\",\"HR\",\"Report\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Research\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/\",\"name\":\"Auditor's Report Reveals That HR Department Does Exactly What You Think They Do (Nothing) - The Philadelphia Satirer\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2022-01-25T13:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-01-23T19:47:34+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Auditor’s Report Reveals That HR Department Does Exactly What You Think They Do (Nothing)\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/\",\"name\":\"Philadelphia Satirer\",\"description\":\"Committed to dispensable journalism\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Philadelphia Satirer\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/image.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/image.png\",\"width\":1056,\"height\":138,\"caption\":\"Philadelphia Satirer\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/\",\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/philasatirer\",\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5d9a6f45133e64fa97dba2e2bce2a037\",\"name\":\"Isabella Quiros\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/95e78b343506d62b9c98e1fd5564794c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/95e78b343506d62b9c98e1fd5564794c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Isabella Quiros\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/author\/isabellaquiros\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Auditor's Report Reveals That HR Department Does Exactly What You Think They Do (Nothing) - The Philadelphia Satirer","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Auditor's Report Reveals That HR Department Does Exactly What You Think They Do (Nothing) - The Philadelphia Satirer","og_description":"PHILADELPHIA– A new auditor’s report conducted at Big Fat Large Company reveals that employees working within the Human Resources department do absolutely nothing during working…","og_url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/","og_site_name":"The Philadelphia Satirer","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/","article_published_time":"2022-01-25T13:00:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2022-01-23T19:47:34+00:00","og_image":[{"width":2560,"height":1457,"url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Auditor-Report-Reveals-scaled.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Isabella Quiros","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@philasatirer","twitter_site":"@philasatirer","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/"},"author":{"name":"Isabella Quiros","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5d9a6f45133e64fa97dba2e2bce2a037"},"headline":"Auditor’s Report Reveals That HR Department Does Exactly What You Think They Do (Nothing)","datePublished":"2022-01-25T13:00:00+00:00","dateModified":"2022-01-23T19:47:34+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/"},"wordCount":208,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization"},"keywords":["Auditor","Department","HR","Report"],"articleSection":["Research"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/","url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/","name":"Auditor's Report Reveals That HR Department Does Exactly What You Think They Do (Nothing) - The Philadelphia Satirer","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2022-01-25T13:00:00+00:00","dateModified":"2022-01-23T19:47:34+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/01\/25\/auditors-report-reveals-that-hr-department-does-exactly-what-you-think-they-do-nothing\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Auditor’s Report Reveals That HR Department Does Exactly What You Think They Do (Nothing)"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/","name":"Philadelphia Satirer","description":"Committed to dispensable journalism","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization","name":"Philadelphia Satirer","url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/image.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/image.png","width":1056,"height":138,"caption":"Philadelphia Satirer"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/","https:\/\/twitter.com\/philasatirer","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5d9a6f45133e64fa97dba2e2bce2a037","name":"Isabella Quiros","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/95e78b343506d62b9c98e1fd5564794c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/95e78b343506d62b9c98e1fd5564794c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Isabella Quiros"},"url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/author\/isabellaquiros\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1391"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/26"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1391"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1391\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1394,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1391\/revisions\/1394"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1393"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1391"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1391"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1391"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}