{"id":1387,"date":"2022-02-21T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-02-21T13:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/?p=1387"},"modified":"2022-01-19T21:33:47","modified_gmt":"2022-01-20T02:33:47","slug":"introspective-kindergartener-has-existential-crisis-after-uttering-i-know-you-are-but-what-am-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/02\/21\/introspective-kindergartener-has-existential-crisis-after-uttering-i-know-you-are-but-what-am-i\/","title":{"rendered":"Introspective Kindergartener Has Existential Crisis After Uttering “I Know You Are But What Am I?”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

What started as a normal day turned catastrophic for 6-year-old Tommy Sanders after this morning\u2019s recess. \u201cI just don\u2019t understand,\u201d said Tommy\u2019s teacher, Ms. Nomer. \u201cTommy is so mature for his age: a very deep thinker and so reflective. But he just froze out there.\u201d It started with the usual ribbing you find on any playground. After being called a \u2018boogerhead,\u2019 Tommy rebutted as he has done before with \u201cI know you are, but what am I?\u201d So automatic, such a reflex that Tommy had never truly considered before. \u201cWait\u2026 what AM I?\u201d Tommy thought to himself hanging from the monkey bars.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What was his identity? Would he be known as the Kickball MVP for his historic 2 home runs in a single inning? Would the world admire him for his radical outside-the-lines coloring technique? Did it matter what his peers thought or was it about inner peace? These thoughts consumed the Kindergartener as he hung there coming to terms with himself as he was getting closer to his double digits age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It became abundantly clear to Tommy that he was going through the much feared quarter of quarter-life crisis. All kids handled it differently: some collected exotic Hot Wheels, others took extravagant trips to Chuck E Cheese. How would he respond? He snapped back to reality and started doing pull ups on those monkey bars. Tommy was determined to get in the best shape of his 6 year life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What started as a normal day turned catastrophic for 6-year-old Tommy Sanders after this morning\u2019s recess. \u201cI just don\u2019t understand,\u201d said Tommy\u2019s teacher, Ms. Nomer.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":28,"featured_media":1389,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[79],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nIntrospective Kindergartener Has Existential Crisis After Uttering "I Know You Are But What Am I?" - The Philadelphia Satirer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/02\/21\/introspective-kindergartener-has-existential-crisis-after-uttering-i-know-you-are-but-what-am-i\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Introspective Kindergartener Has Existential Crisis After Uttering "I Know You Are But What Am I?" - 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