{"id":1234,"date":"2021-09-22T19:20:51","date_gmt":"2021-09-22T23:20:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/?p=1234"},"modified":"2021-09-22T19:20:55","modified_gmt":"2021-09-22T23:20:55","slug":"quiz-which-of-these-rookie-mistakes-did-you-make-your-first-time-in-traffic-court","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/09\/22\/quiz-which-of-these-rookie-mistakes-did-you-make-your-first-time-in-traffic-court\/","title":{"rendered":"Quiz: Which Of These Rookie Mistakes Did You Make Your First Time In Traffic Court?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
Photo by Sora Shimazaki from Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Traffic court can be a crazy place. Which one of these rookie mistakes did you make your first time?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. When the judge asked me to plead, I said \u201cPlease daddy\u201d<\/li>
  2. I wore a shirt that said \u201cThe \u2018L’ in Law stands for Loser\u201d<\/li>
  3. I sneezed really hard, knocking the glasses off of the judge\u2019s face to reveal that he was actually beautiful all along<\/li>
  4. I forgot to give the prosecution a tender, loving kiss on the forehead<\/li>
  5. I pointed to the statue of Lady Justice and said \u201ckinky\u201d<\/li>
  6. I wore wheelies and rolled in and out of the courtroom<\/li>
  7. I asked the bailiff if we could trade guns, and he immediately tackled me\u00a0<\/li>
  8. I attempted to pay the fine with Dogecoin<\/li>
  9. In an effort to make sure the cop couldn\u2019t show up to my trial, I placed a banana peel at the foot of his car so that he\u2019d comically slip and fall. Also I slashed his tires just in case.\u00a0<\/li>
  10. I neglected to study for and pass the bar exam in order to properly prepare for my trial<\/li>
  11. Thinking I\u2019d be publicly executed for my crimes, I wrote a last will and testament, giving all of my worldly possessions to the Department of Homeland Security<\/li>
  12. I asked for a trial by combat, and brought my own sword, but it was one of those little cocktail swords, and I was promptly informed that only regulation rapiers are allowed<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    How many have you done?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    0-4: What are you, a cop? You\u2019ve only made a handful of these very common mistakes? Liar. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    5-8: You could be doing a little better, but you also could be doing a little worse. You\u2019re at a healthy medium, like the amount of frosting in a \u201cDouble Stuf\u201d Oreo, which is actually slightly less than double the normal amount, and should serve as the base amount of frosting in Oreos, while a real \u201cDouble Stuf\u201d should be twice the stuff of what is now a \u201cDouble Stuf.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    9-12: Jesus Christ man. Did you even try? People like you are the reason the United States Justice system is broken. No other reason. Just you. Be better. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Traffic court can be a crazy place. Which one of these rookie mistakes did you make your first time? 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