{"id":1197,"date":"2021-08-19T19:23:58","date_gmt":"2021-08-19T23:23:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/?p=1197"},"modified":"2021-08-19T19:24:03","modified_gmt":"2021-08-19T23:24:03","slug":"statue-of-liberty-to-be-replaced-with-new-glow-in-the-dark-statue-of-liberty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/08\/19\/statue-of-liberty-to-be-replaced-with-new-glow-in-the-dark-statue-of-liberty\/","title":{"rendered":"Statue Of Liberty To Be Replaced With New Glow-In-The-Dark Statue Of Liberty"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"686\" src=\"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Statue-Of-Liberty-1024x686.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1198\" srcset=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Statue-Of-Liberty-1024x686.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Statue-Of-Liberty-300x201.jpg 300w, https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Statue-Of-Liberty-768x514.jpg 768w, https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Statue-Of-Liberty.jpg 1047w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:18px\">NEW YORK CITY&#8211; The Statue of Liberty, the iconic symbol of American ideals which has never contained any phosphorescent properties, is set to be demolished to make way for a new and improved statue that glows in the dark.&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:18px\">According to the Mayor, the plan to replace Lady Liberty with a glow-in-the-dark version cannot come at better timing, \u201cshe used to be shinny like a penny, but she\u2019s all green and gross now\u201d the Mayor said, \u201cI figure if she\u2019s going to be green, she may as well be glow-in-the-dark green which is cool and not gross.\u201d&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:18px\">Statue fans across the country agree that America\u2019s most famous statue deserves to finally light up after so many years of not doing so.&nbsp; According to a poll asking Americans why they are in favor of the change, the most popular answers include, \u201cless boats crashing into the thing,\u201d \u201cwould look interesting from the sky if you were a bird,\u201d and \u201cglow-in-the-dark makes me horny.\u201d&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:18px\">While the United States at large is excited for the improvements, the French, who gifted the statue to the U.S. in 1886, are demanding that the statue be returned.&nbsp; The President of the United States responded in a press conference, \u201chell no, we\u2019re going to scrap that trash and get a paycheck out of it.&nbsp; I know a guy at the junkyard who will give me a real good price.\u201d&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:18px\">The new glow-in-the-dark Statue of Liberty is set to be unveiled as soon as someone strong enough comes forward to activate the glow-juice inside of it by cracking Lady Liberty in half.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>NEW YORK CITY&#8211; The Statue of Liberty, the iconic symbol of American ideals which has never contained any phosphorescent properties, is set to be demolished&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":1198,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[8],"tags":[362,363,361],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.12 - 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