{"id":108,"date":"2020-04-20T18:16:00","date_gmt":"2020-04-20T22:16:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/?p=108"},"modified":"2020-12-09T19:01:09","modified_gmt":"2020-12-10T00:01:09","slug":"cases-of-home-haircuts-expected-to-peak-on-april-25th","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2020\/04\/20\/cases-of-home-haircuts-expected-to-peak-on-april-25th\/","title":{"rendered":"Cases Of Home Haircuts Expected To Peak On April 25th"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

ATLANTA – The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) forecasts that cases of home haircuts are expected to peak on April 25th. The CDC cites multiple reasons for this spike in-home haircuts including: \u201cthe celebration of the cannabis holiday 4\/20 on April 20th.\u201d CDC Spokesperson Mary Williams raises alarms that \u201cthe 4\/20 holiday will lead to an outbreak in experimentation with new looks such as bangs. Our top researchers have found many stoned 4\/20 revelers will experiment with cutting their own hair many for the first time since they were children. In the days following 4\/20, they will share their haircuts via social media and infect others with the thought that a home haircut is a good idea.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this horrifying prediction we sought the opinion of a haircare professional on the front lines of the outbreak. \u201cThe combination of people being stranded at home bored, edibles, and people getting tired of looking at their shaggy-ass overgrown head will lead to this worst-case scenario exploding like wildfire,\u201d said Jeff Higgins, a barber from Houston. Higgins also noted that barbers and hairstylists are bracing for a crush of people looking to get their \u201cjacked-up haircuts\u201d fixed once the Coronavirus social distancing regulations end. The CDC has issued a list of directives for those considering a home haircut. These directives include watching no less than three youtube hair cut tutorials, using sharp scissors, and practicing hair cuts on your kids or pets before attempting your own haircut. The CDC has also set up a helpline for haircut assistance at 1-555-BAD-HAIR. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

ATLANTA – The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) forecasts that cases of home haircuts are expected to peak on April 25th. The CDC…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":640,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nCases Of Home Haircuts Expected To Peak On April 25th - The Philadelphia Satirer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) forecasts that cases of home haircuts are expected to peak on April 25th.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2020\/04\/20\/cases-of-home-haircuts-expected-to-peak-on-april-25th\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Cases Of Home Haircuts Expected To Peak On April 25th - The Philadelphia Satirer\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) forecasts that cases of home haircuts are expected to peak on April 25th.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2020\/04\/20\/cases-of-home-haircuts-expected-to-peak-on-april-25th\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Philadelphia Satirer\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-04-20T22:16:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2020-12-10T00:01:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/4868142472_e5576ee1d7_k.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2047\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1130\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Damien Wendy\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@philasatirer\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@philasatirer\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2020\/04\/20\/cases-of-home-haircuts-expected-to-peak-on-april-25th\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2020\/04\/20\/cases-of-home-haircuts-expected-to-peak-on-april-25th\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Damien Wendy\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/955bf65a6b67e9a3f634f3bf9e5c4fb9\"},\"headline\":\"Cases Of Home Haircuts Expected To Peak On April 25th\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-04-20T22:16:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-12-10T00:01:09+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2020\/04\/20\/cases-of-home-haircuts-expected-to-peak-on-april-25th\/\"},\"wordCount\":267,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Quarantine\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2020\/04\/20\/cases-of-home-haircuts-expected-to-peak-on-april-25th\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2020\/04\/20\/cases-of-home-haircuts-expected-to-peak-on-april-25th\/\",\"name\":\"Cases Of Home Haircuts Expected To Peak On April 25th - 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