{"id":1073,"date":"2021-04-26T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-04-26T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/?p=1073"},"modified":"2021-04-24T21:33:15","modified_gmt":"2021-04-25T01:33:15","slug":"heartbreaking-this-mans-name-is-todd-cruz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/26\/heartbreaking-this-mans-name-is-todd-cruz\/","title":{"rendered":"Heartbreaking: This Man\u2019s Name Is Todd Cruz"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
Photo by Roland Samuel<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a>\n <\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Can this man catch a break?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Todd Cruz (34) from Seattle, WA has had a tough go of late. Todd used to have an awesome name. The kids all called him \u201cTom Cruise\u201d back in elementary school. He was the king of the goddamn playground. Kids those days really ignored all that scientology stuff too, I guess it didn\u2019t matter to a bunch of children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But now things are different. When a barista yells out, \u201cOne oat milk latte for Todd Cruz,\u201d instead of images of the dashing movie star, they think of the grotesque U.S. Senator Ted Cruz. Todd told the Satirer, \u201cI\u2019m just a normal guy. I work in marketing at a small firm here in Seattle. I haven\u2019t even been to Texas. But anytime I go to a Chipotle, the employees spit in my food. The other customers heard my name and spit on me as well. I\u2019ve also been receiving hate mail for the last couple years, but it\u2019s really picked up. I even got one from my mom. She told me to \u2018get bent you fat piece of human feces.\u2019 That one stung the most.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only nice part of this big misunderstanding is Todd Cruz got an automatic upgrade to first class on his flight to Cancun.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Can this man catch a break?\u00a0 Todd Cruz (34) from Seattle, WA has had a tough go of late. 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