{"id":1047,"date":"2021-04-19T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-04-19T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/?p=1047"},"modified":"2021-04-12T00:56:30","modified_gmt":"2021-04-12T04:56:30","slug":"new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/","title":{"rendered":"New Report Links Relationship Longevity With Not Running the AC All God-Damned Day"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1035\" height=\"582\" src=\"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/arguing_thermostat-edited.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1049\" srcset=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/arguing_thermostat-edited.jpg 1035w, https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/arguing_thermostat-edited-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/arguing_thermostat-edited-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/arguing_thermostat-edited-768x432.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1035px) 100vw, 1035px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:18px\">NEW YORK, NY&#8211; A new study conducted by LoveLab and the Environmental Council has reported that the only key to a long lasting relationship is actually not running the AC all god-damned day. \u201cThe true secret to love is simpler than expected before&#8211; instead of compatibility, attraction, similar long term goals&#8211; it really is way simpler than that. It\u2019s the smaller things like putting on a sweater for once in your life or holding the flashlight in the right damned way,&#8221; says Dr. Howard Turtle, a behavioral scientist in charge of the study. \u201cThis should be illuminating to people of all ages trying to make a relationship work. Instead of spending all that money on couples counseling, maybe try to get some real life skills and maybe, Karen, you could take the cups to the kitchen instead of leaving them around the living room like a mad woman.&#8221; At press time, couples that had used this advice were wildly in love and just so elated their partners finally stopped running the goddamn AC or leaving the windows open like we\u2019re made of money or something.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>NEW YORK, NY&#8211; A new study conducted by LoveLab and the Environmental Council has reported that the only key to a long lasting relationship is&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":1049,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[22],"tags":[308,310,311,119],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.12 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>New Report Links Relationship Longevity With Not Running the AC All God-Damned Day - The Philadelphia Satirer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"New Report Links Relationship Longevity With Not Running the AC All God-Damned Day - The Philadelphia Satirer\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"NEW YORK, NY&#8211; A new study conducted by LoveLab and the Environmental Council has reported that the only key to a long lasting relationship is&#8230;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Philadelphia Satirer\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-04-19T12:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-04-12T04:56:30+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/arguing_thermostat-edited.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1035\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"582\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Catherine Weingarten\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@philasatirer\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@philasatirer\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Catherine Weingarten\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/1fc0e12a8224efb8b5736518edfcbde3\"},\"headline\":\"New Report Links Relationship Longevity With Not Running the AC All God-Damned Day\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-04-19T12:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-04-12T04:56:30+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/\"},\"wordCount\":200,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"ac\",\"couples\",\"heat\",\"Summer\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Relationships\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/\",\"name\":\"New Report Links Relationship Longevity With Not Running the AC All God-Damned Day - The Philadelphia Satirer\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2021-04-19T12:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-04-12T04:56:30+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"New Report Links Relationship Longevity With Not Running the AC All God-Damned Day\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/\",\"name\":\"Philadelphia Satirer\",\"description\":\"Committed to dispensable journalism\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Philadelphia Satirer\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/image.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/image.png\",\"width\":1056,\"height\":138,\"caption\":\"Philadelphia Satirer\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/\",\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/philasatirer\",\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/1fc0e12a8224efb8b5736518edfcbde3\",\"name\":\"Catherine Weingarten\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/977bdb0635a86e28b75ea09b59d10693?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/977bdb0635a86e28b75ea09b59d10693?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Catherine Weingarten\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/author\/catherineweingarten\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"New Report Links Relationship Longevity With Not Running the AC All God-Damned Day - The Philadelphia Satirer","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"New Report Links Relationship Longevity With Not Running the AC All God-Damned Day - The Philadelphia Satirer","og_description":"NEW YORK, NY&#8211; A new study conducted by LoveLab and the Environmental Council has reported that the only key to a long lasting relationship is&#8230;","og_url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/","og_site_name":"The Philadelphia Satirer","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/","article_published_time":"2021-04-19T12:00:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-04-12T04:56:30+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1035,"height":582,"url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/arguing_thermostat-edited.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Catherine Weingarten","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@philasatirer","twitter_site":"@philasatirer","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/"},"author":{"name":"Catherine Weingarten","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/1fc0e12a8224efb8b5736518edfcbde3"},"headline":"New Report Links Relationship Longevity With Not Running the AC All God-Damned Day","datePublished":"2021-04-19T12:00:00+00:00","dateModified":"2021-04-12T04:56:30+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/"},"wordCount":200,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization"},"keywords":["ac","couples","heat","Summer"],"articleSection":["Relationships"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/","url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/","name":"New Report Links Relationship Longevity With Not Running the AC All God-Damned Day - The Philadelphia Satirer","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2021-04-19T12:00:00+00:00","dateModified":"2021-04-12T04:56:30+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2021\/04\/19\/new-report-links-relationship-longevity-with-not-running-the-ac-all-god-damned-day\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"New Report Links Relationship Longevity With Not Running the AC All God-Damned Day"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/","name":"Philadelphia Satirer","description":"Committed to dispensable journalism","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#organization","name":"Philadelphia Satirer","url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/image.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/philadelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/image.png","width":1056,"height":138,"caption":"Philadelphia Satirer"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/","https:\/\/twitter.com\/philasatirer","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/philadelphiasatirer\/"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/1fc0e12a8224efb8b5736518edfcbde3","name":"Catherine Weingarten","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/977bdb0635a86e28b75ea09b59d10693?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/977bdb0635a86e28b75ea09b59d10693?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Catherine Weingarten"},"url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/author\/catherineweingarten\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1047"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/18"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1047"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1047\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1050,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1047\/revisions\/1050"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1049"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1047"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1047"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1047"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}