{"version":"1.0","provider_name":"The Philadelphia Satirer","provider_url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com","author_name":"Christian Beardall","author_url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/author\/christian-beardallgmail-com\/","title":"Introspective Kindergartener Has Existential Crisis After Uttering \"I Know You Are But What Am I?\" - The Philadelphia Satirer","type":"rich","width":600,"height":338,"html":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"vv5aarWoaB\"><a href=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/02\/21\/introspective-kindergartener-has-existential-crisis-after-uttering-i-know-you-are-but-what-am-i\/\">Introspective Kindergartener Has Existential Crisis After Uttering &#8220;I Know You Are But What Am I?&#8221;<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/2022\/02\/21\/introspective-kindergartener-has-existential-crisis-after-uttering-i-know-you-are-but-what-am-i\/embed\/#?secret=vv5aarWoaB\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" title=\"&#8220;Introspective Kindergartener Has Existential Crisis After Uttering &#8220;I Know You Are But What Am I?&#8221;&#8221; &#8212; The Philadelphia Satirer\" data-secret=\"vv5aarWoaB\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(c,d){\"use strict\";var e=!1,o=!1;if(d.querySelector)if(c.addEventListener)e=!0;if(c.wp=c.wp||{},c.wp.receiveEmbedMessage);else if(c.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if(!t);else if(!(t.secret||t.message||t.value));else if(\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret));else{for(var r,s,a,i=d.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),n=d.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),l=0;l<n.length;l++)n[l].style.display=\"none\";for(l=0;l<i.length;l++)if(r=i[l],e.source!==r.contentWindow);else{if(r.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message){if(1e3<(s=parseInt(t.value,10)))s=1e3;else if(~~s<200)s=200;r.height=s}if(\"link\"===t.message)if(s=d.createElement(\"a\"),a=d.createElement(\"a\"),s.href=r.getAttribute(\"src\"),a.href=t.value,!o.test(a.protocol));else if(a.host===s.host)if(d.activeElement===r)c.top.location.href=t.value}}},e)c.addEventListener(\"message\",c.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),d.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",t,!1),c.addEventListener(\"load\",t,!1);function t(){if(o);else{o=!0;for(var e,t,r,s=-1!==navigator.appVersion.indexOf(\"MSIE 10\"),a=!!navigator.userAgent.match(\/Trident.*rv:11\\.\/),i=d.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),n=0;n<i.length;n++){if(!(r=(t=i[n]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\")))r=Math.random().toString(36).substr(2,10),t.src+=\"#?secret=\"+r,t.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",r);if(s||a)(e=t.cloneNode(!0)).removeAttribute(\"security\"),t.parentNode.replaceChild(e,t);t.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:r},\"*\")}}}}(window,document);\n<\/script>\n","thumbnail_url":"https:\/\/thephiladelphiasatirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/kindergartener-edited.jpg","thumbnail_width":1920,"thumbnail_height":1079,"description":"What started as a normal day turned catastrophic for 6-year-old Tommy Sanders after this morning\u2019s recess. \u201cI just don\u2019t understand,\u201d said Tommy\u2019s teacher, Ms. Nomer.&#8230;"}