PHILADELPHIA– Drastically overestimating the strength of his relationship with friend Vihaan Agarwal, sources confirmed Thursday that Fishtown resident Nathan Parks had way overplayed his hand by sending a link to a twenty three minute long YouTube video. “I saw this video the other day and thought it might be up your alley,” Parks wrote in his message, oblivious to how undeserving he is of a mere three minutes of Agarwal’s spare time, let alone twenty three. “Let me know when you finish the video, I’ll pass along an article that goes along with it. If you’re not too busy tomorrow would love to discuss.” At press time, Parks had facetimed Agarwal twice to no response.

Jeff Braun

The post Friend Way Overplays Hand By Sending Link To Twenty Three Minute Long YouTube Video appeared first on The Philadelphia Satirer.

PHILADELPHIA- With Halloween fast approaching, a young ghost named Jeremy is contemplating his future and how he can achieve great things in the afterlife after his previous existence was a tremendous failure. Jeremy haunts a McDonald’s on North Broad Street, the scene of a failed YouTube video titled “Amazing! Jeremy Dies Trying To Last Five Minutes In The Fry-o-later Hot Tub” which caused his death. “I don’t know dude, in my past life I just wanted to be a YouTube star but in the afterlife, it’s still all I think I want to do. I’m just trying to get a plan together so my channel doesn’t suck again and I only have like thirteen views for all of eternity,” detailed the young ghost. After his death, Jeremy became trapped in the men’s bathroom at the McDonald’s with occasional access to the maintenance closet. “I’ve got a couple of pretty good ideas for some videos. Bathroom access is so killer, it’s kind of the perfect place for me. I keep thinking about making a urinal flush with Mountain Dew instead of water to scare people but I don’t want to give too much away,” said Jeremy. At press time, MCDghost215 urged everyone who reads this to like and subscribe to his channel.

Damien Wendy

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