For too long, outdated traditions have forced you to choose between trick OR treat, but this Halloween you’re finally going to manifest everything you deserve and not settle for anything less than a trick AND treat. First, you’ll have to ditch the masks, make-up, wigs, and fake blood you’ve been hiding behind. That’s right– this year you’re going out as yourself, what’s scarier than that?

Dressing up as yourself on Halloween will give you the confidence you’ll need to get what’s owed to you, so leave your costume at home and get those tricks and treats. When you march up to your neighbor’s door this Halloween, you’re not going to give them a choice. You’re going to demand a trick AND a treat. While you’re at it, have them smell your feet too. This will surely assert that you mean business and you won’t be taking no for an answer.

Should anyone still insist on making you choose between the two despite your non-negotiable stance, don’t let them think that you care. Simply pull down their underwear. That should clear things up for them.

Let this Halloween be the first of many that you’re completely in control of, loading up on tricks and treats and anything else you want. And don’t forget, Halloween doesn’t have to only be on October 31st, you’re the boss now.  

Zachary Decker

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