Look what the cat dragged in. I’m surprised you’d show your sorry ass around here after what you did. I’ll have you know that while you were off doing God-knows-what, I’ve been standing on this trolley station for 26 months straight. Do you think I have time to be standing day and night in the middle of the road for over two years? I have a family that relies on me, kids that have to be taken care of. I can’t afford to be gone this long. And it’s all because of you. I’m already in hot water at work for being late a couple times. Do you want to be the one that explains to my boss why I’m 109 weeks late to my shift? If they try to fire me I’m gonna be so upset with you, it’s not even funny. 

And yeah, I probably could have hopped on one of the replacement buses, but I don’t wanna be on something that’s not connected to a track. What if they make a turn? Did you ever stop for one second to think about that? Oh, that’s right, you only think about yourself. 

Listen, I’m sorry to come down on you so hard. I only do it because I care. You’ve got so much going for yourself and I hate watching you throw it all away by being out of service all the time. Think about the smile you put on peoples’ faces when they see your cool, retro vibe. Think about how many likes I get on Instagram when I post pictures of you. Think about how much you help people that have a deep fear of riding vehicles with the ability to make turns. You’re loved so much more than you know. 

Now what do you say we put this all behind us and just enjoy this ride to my work? It’s just three blocks up here.

Russ Bizaro

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