BAKERSFIELD, CA– Promising an unconventional experience with undertones of anarchy, Wham-O’s complete disregard for grammatical conventions in their “Slip ‘N Slide: Tons ‘O Fun” branding foreshadows what wacky, anti-establishment fun is to be had. “If my kids only experience a tenth of the debauchery suggested by this Slip ‘N Slide’s total perversion of the english language, then it will have been a $49.99 well spent,” said 42-year-old father of three Deacon Mantz, loading his recent purchase into his car with an impish grin. “I know not the particulars of what hedonistic and barbaric indulgences this Slip ‘N Slide will facilitate, but I do know that they won’t be confined to the covenant of the written word.” At press time, Mantz had exchanged his Slip ‘N Slide for a glow in the dark Hula Hoop whose irreverence for the visual limitations of the nighttime imply it may hold the key to immortality.

Jeff Braun

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