Staff

For when all of us write something or we’re too cowardly to put a name on an article. Hey, we’d like to be employed by whatever soulless corporation did a Google search to make sure we’re not a moron! Now you won’t know which one of us is the moron and you have to hire whoever applied!

thephiladelphiasatirer.com

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MEDIA, PA – As COVID-19 slows and the economy opens back up, Dawn Kershetsky is no longer able to put off visiting her parents. “I was really banking on this second wave to come in hotter,” Dawn told the Satirer. “In the beginning, I thought the pandemic was a blessing in disguise, I mean how often do you get an excuse to not visit your folks and act like you’re doing them a favor?” 

Unfortunately for Dawn, fewer people have died from this horrible disease in the last few weeks. As businesses only partially open back up under new safety guidelines, Dawn has been unable to fall back on her usual excuses of work trips, volunteering, or pet sitting. “I can’t tell them I’m busy with other stuff after I spent the last seven months posting about what a hero I was for staying indoors,” she explained.

The Satirer reached out to Joe and Irene Kershetsky but were unable to obtain a comment from them as they were both in intensive care recovering from COVID-19. Upon receiving the news, Dawn exclaimed, “Wait a minute, they caught it? Ugh! If they recover and become immune I’ll never be able to get out of visiting them!”

Adam Lerner

The post Woman Out Of Excuses For Not Visiting Parents As Pandemic Winds Down appeared first on The Philadelphia Satirer.