1. Schuylkill River
2. Delaware River

References:

• Devastation on the Delaware: Stories and Images of the Deadly Flood of 1955 (2005, Word Forge Books, Ferndale, PA) The only comprehensive documentary of this weather disaster in the Delaware River Valley.
• Leach, Josiah Granville (1902). “Commodore John Hazlewood, Commander of the Pennsylvania Navy in the Revolution”. The Pennsylvania Magazine of History and Biography. The Pennsylvania Magazine of History and Biography, Vol. 26, No. 1 (1902), pp. 1–6 and The Historical Society of Pennsylvania. 26 (1): 1–6. JSTOR 20086007.
• McGeorge, Wallace (1905). The Battle of Red Bank, resulting in the defeat of the Hessians and the destruction of the British frigate Augusta, Oct. 22 and 23, 1777. Camden, New Jersey, Sinnickson Chew, printers.
• Leach, Josiah Granville (1902). “Commodore John Hazlewood, Commander of the Pennsylvania Navy in the Revolution”. The Pennsylvania Magazine of History and Biography. The Pennsylvania Magazine of History and Biography, Vol. 26, No. 1 (1902), pp. 1–6 and The Historical Society of Pennsylvania. 26 (1): 1–6. JSTOR 20086007.
• Savas, Theodore (2006). Guide to the Battles of the American Revolution. Savas Beatie. ISBN 1-932714-12-X.
• Oxford Dictionary: definition of Schuylkill River (American English)
• Definition of SCHUYLKILL”. www.merriam-webster.com.
• U.S. Geological Survey. National Hydrography Dataset high-resolution flowline data. The National Map  Archived 2012-04-05 at WebCite, accessed April 1, 2011
• Donnalley, Thomas K., Hand book of tribal names of Pennsylvania, together with signification of Indian words, Philadelphia:Donnalley, (1908), p. 37
• The Schuylkill Center for Environmental Education
• Pennypacker, Samuel Whitaker, Annals of Phoenixville and Its Vicinity: From the Settlement to the Year 1871, Giving the Origin etc., Philadelphia:Bavis &Pennypacker, 1872, p.1
• Scharf, Thomas (1884). History of Philadelphia: 1609 – 1834. Philadelphia: L. H. Everts & Co. ISBN 9785883517104.
• Nickels, Thom (June 6, 2001). Manayunk. Arcadia Publishing. ISBN 9780738505114.
• Pennypacker, Samuel Whitaker (1872). Annals of Phoenixville and Its Vicinity: From the Settlement to the Year 1871. Phoenixville, PA: Bavis & Pennypacker, printers. pp. 5.

Russ Bizaro

The post A List Of All 2 Major Rivers That Flow Through Philadelphia. You Won’t Believe Number 2! appeared first on The Philadelphia Satirer.

In what is shaping up to be a life-changing revelation, it turns out that salad dressing you are about to pour all over your two-day-old take out is, in fact, squeezable! Yes, you read that right, don’t waste anymore time violently shaking and aggressively banging that bottle. Just put that salad dressing in your grubby little mitts and give it a good hard squeeze. Now your microwaved leftovers are swimming in the good stuff, and look, you didn’t even break a sweat.

Is that a high-pressured nozzle too? You bet your stained shirt it is! Whether you’re in dire need of drenching your pizza in ranch or smothering your chicken fingers in honey mustard, you’ll always hit your target, even if you can’t be bothered to pay attention to where you’re aiming.

Look, eating is about catatonic efficiency, and your salad dressing gets that. Finally you can stuff your face while watching a thirteenth consecutive episode of Love Island without having to savor a single moment of the experience. Hell, with all this extra time on your hands, maybe you’ll even wind up squeezing some of that salad dressing on a salad!

Zachary Decker

The post Incredible: This Salad Dressing Bottle Is Squeezable appeared first on The Philadelphia Satirer.