Ghost Archives - The Philadelphia Satirer https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/tag/ghost/ Committed to dispensable journalism Fri, 23 Oct 2020 04:50:11 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.2.2 https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/cropped-PS_logo_512_trans-32x32.png Ghost Archives - The Philadelphia Satirer https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/tag/ghost/ 32 32 Ghost Haunting McDonald’s Bathroom Not Yet Sure Of Endgame https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/2020/10/25/ghost-haunting-mcdonalds-bathroom-not-yet-sure-of-endgame/ Sun, 25 Oct 2020 18:00:00 +0000 https://philadelphiasatirer.com/?p=467 PHILADELPHIA- With Halloween fast approaching, a young ghost named Jeremy is contemplating his future and how he can achieve great things in the afterlife after…

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Photo by Shahbaz Ali on Unsplash

PHILADELPHIA- With Halloween fast approaching, a young ghost named Jeremy is contemplating his future and how he can achieve great things in the afterlife after his previous existence was a tremendous failure. Jeremy haunts a McDonald’s on North Broad Street, the scene of a failed YouTube video titled “Amazing! Jeremy Dies Trying To Last Five Minutes In The Fry-o-later Hot Tub” which caused his death. “I don’t know dude, in my past life I just wanted to be a YouTube star but in the afterlife, it’s still all I think I want to do. I’m just trying to get a plan together so my channel doesn’t suck again and I only have like thirteen views for all of eternity,” detailed the young ghost. After his death, Jeremy became trapped in the men’s bathroom at the McDonald’s with occasional access to the maintenance closet. “I’ve got a couple of pretty good ideas for some videos. Bathroom access is so killer, it’s kind of the perfect place for me. I keep thinking about making a urinal flush with Mountain Dew instead of water to scare people but I don’t want to give too much away,” said Jeremy. At press time, MCDghost215 urged everyone who reads this to like and subscribe to his channel.

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