Fetch Archives - The Philadelphia Satirer https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/tag/fetch/ Committed to dispensable journalism Fri, 07 Aug 2020 23:03:25 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.2.2 https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/cropped-PS_logo_512_trans-32x32.png Fetch Archives - The Philadelphia Satirer https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/tag/fetch/ 32 32 Golden Retriever Loses Title After Upset In Game Of Fetch https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/2020/08/10/golden-retriever-loses-title-after-upset-in-game-of-fetch/ Mon, 10 Aug 2020 17:00:00 +0000 https://philadelphiasatirer.com/?p=314 Family dog and all around good boy, Rex the retriever, lost the coveted title of “Golden” after a devastating loss in a game of fetch last Tuesday.

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Photo by Regine Tholen on Unsplash

BLUE BELL, PA – Family dog and all around good boy, Rex the retriever, lost the coveted title of “Golden” after a devastating loss in a game of fetch last Tuesday. “Rex was always first to the tennis ball anytime I’d throw it, but it’s looking like his reign as top dog is coming to an end,” explained Billy Hugo, Rex’s owner and best friend, adding, “until he can reclaim first place, he’ll have to be called a Silvered retriever.”

The game of fetch reached a shocking climax when the neighbor’s chihuahua came out of nowhere to grab the tennis ball just before the retriever could get to it. “I’ve never heard of a Golden chihuahua before but he got to the tennis ball first fair and square,” observed Lawrence Riverton, the neighbor and chihuahua owner. Riverton added, “I’m a proud pet parent. He’s definitely getting an extra treat tonight, maybe I’ll even take him for a ride in the car.” The rematch is scheduled for the next time Rex whines at the back door to be let out. The Golden chihuahua is nervous about defending his title, citing a squirrel in a nearby tree as being a possible distraction.     

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