Cement Archives - The Philadelphia Satirer https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/tag/cement/ Committed to dispensable journalism Wed, 11 Aug 2021 23:36:50 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.2.2 https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/cropped-PS_logo_512_trans-32x32.png Cement Archives - The Philadelphia Satirer https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/tag/cement/ 32 32 Wet Cement Begging To Have Finger Put In It https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/2021/08/11/wet-cement-begging-to-have-finger-put-in-it/ Wed, 11 Aug 2021 23:36:44 +0000 https://philadelphiasatirer.com/?p=1185 PHILADELPHIA– On full display for all to see on the corner of Broad Street and Washington Avenue, cement poured less than an hour ago eagerly…

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PHILADELPHIA– On full display for all to see on the corner of Broad Street and Washington Avenue, cement poured less than an hour ago eagerly invites a daring finger or two to slip in and explore its wetness. “There’s nothing more titillating than wet cement,” Veronica Holmes, a passerby, commented, “if I wasn’t so afraid of what others would say, I’d bury my entire face in it.”

While most sidewalk users echoed Holmes’ comment, others could be seen crossing the street to avoid the recently laid cement.

When asked if the Wet Cement sign posted nearby could be deterring people from having a meaningful experience with the new sidewalk, Sean Masters, a representative from the construction company responsible for the renovation, clarified that “the sign is in no way meant to be interpreted as a warning. We encourage anyone who wants to have a little fun with the fresh walkway to feel free to do so.” 

With an enthusiastic yes, please go-ahead and give the wet cement a little fingering, however it should be noted that spitting and poop-stuff is not really the sidewalk’s thing.  So clean up after your dogs.

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