Cats Archives - The Philadelphia Satirer https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/tag/cats/ Committed to dispensable journalism Thu, 09 Dec 2021 22:09:19 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.2.2 https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/cropped-PS_logo_512_trans-32x32.png Cats Archives - The Philadelphia Satirer https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/tag/cats/ 32 32 New Study Reveals Cats Can Tell It’s Eating Time Via Tiny Watches In Their Empty Tummies https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/2021/12/09/new-study-reveals-cats-can-tell-its-eating-time-via-tiny-watches-in-their-empty-tummies/ Thu, 09 Dec 2021 22:07:24 +0000 https://thephiladelphiasatirer.com/?p=1358 BALTIMORE, MD— Have you ever noticed that cats are often the most punctual animals when it comes to feeding time? Well, a new study from…

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BALTIMORE, MD— Have you ever noticed that cats are often the most punctual animals when it comes to feeding time? Well, a new study from Johns Hopkins University reveals that cats know exactly when it’s owner is late for a mealtime, thanks in part to the presence of teenie-tiny, little watches located inside their empty tummies. 

The study all started by chance, according to Dr. Purrzalot, the head felinologist on the report. “I started to hear a peculiar tick-tock noise coming from the lab cat’s big belly a few minutes past lunch time. I picked him up like the little baby he is and put him directly under the microscope. Sure enough, after I zoomed in 378 times, there it was — an actual ticking clock inside his itty bitty teeny wittle tiny tummy telling him that it was time for me to serve him food.” 

Researchers from the study are suggesting that all cat owners take heed when feeding their feline friends from now on. It is vital that they are fed on time, because if they are fed even a moment past their feeding time they could very well become slightly annoyed. Dr. Purrzalot further recommends just getting a dog instead. 

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