PHILADELPHIA– A new study conducted by the popular dating site Bumble has reported that Philly accents ranked 74 out of a total 75 local US accents. “There are so many accents that made a sexier impression on people than the Philly accent, like a sweet Texas twang which came in 5th or a rough and tumble New Yorker accent which was another top contender coming in 15th,” says Dr. Jessica Tweeberly, a behavioral scientist at Bumble who helped conduct the study. “We were surprised to see how low Philly ranked on the list because we thought people would be charmed by a ‘strong A’ and truly titillated with how they pronounce ‘wooder’ ice. The only place that came in lower was South Jersey for how annoyingly they pronounced Coke.” At press time, sad Philly natives were speaking out via social media with empowering posts like “my pronunciation of “A” turns on my married boyfriend” and “Men will pay me to say wooder ice at them! That’s how fricking erotic my Philly accent is!”

Catherine Weingarten

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