PHILADELPHIA– One Fishtown family wanted to show a little extra respect to the tree that had brightened their home this holiday season, so they covered it with a sheet like a dead body after discarding it on the curb. “She was just such a good tree. We loved her but she died. It was like we held a beautiful wake for her in our living room the entire month of December. My mom said we couldn’t buy her a coffin so I thought a sheet might work well to preserve her dignity,” said 6-year-old Laney Draper. As the family said goodbye, dozens of their neighbors’ unshrouded trees lay strewn on the cold sidewalk.

Passer-by Jeremy Ridley added, “This is my first Christmas in the city and I wasn’t sure where to put my dead tree. So, I buried mine in the backyard with it’s favorite ornament.”

Millions of Americans Celebrate Christmas with a live tree but aren’t really sure why. Six year old domestic goddess Laney Draper advised folks who were saddened by live Christmas trees, but didn’t know what else to do, to “think about stacking chairs in their living room next year and putting lights and ornaments on that pile. Or draw a picture of a beautiful tree that you tape to the wall.” Draper clarified not to draw the tree directly on the wall “because you might get sent to your room for that.”

Damien Wendy

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