UNIVERSITY CITY, PA- Calling their findings a landmark discovery in modern physiology, a new study from the University of Pennsylvania finds belly buttons can also be called “little belly holes.” “It’s going to take some time to work out all of the logistics but we expect to start seeing doctors use the now equally correct ‘little belly holes’ in the coming months,” says Dr. Sarah Clowder, M.D., adding that they originally planned to name them “little teeny baby belly-welly soft holesy-wolesies” but it was denied on word count by Merriam Webster’s Medical Dictionary. “As discussed in the study, outies became a major point of contention for members of the science community. However, after much deliberation, we were able to come to a now-historic consensus and establish the ‘lil belly bumps’ resolution.“ At press time, Dr. Clowder revealed her research group is taking over the infamous ear renaming program ‘Big Floppy Bois.’

Russ Bizaro

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