33rd & Oxford St– It was here that John Coltrane first fell in love with music after ripping a supremely melodious fart. He would go on to create jazz history trying to emulate that sound on his saxophone in the following decades.
5th & Arch St– Benjamin Franklin’s final resting place is also the future grave site of both Hall and Oates.
4th & Vine St– Home of St. Augustine Church where M. Night Shyamalan got his inspiration for The Sixth Sense while tripping on mushrooms and hallucinating a dead Bruce Willis.
Front St & Susquehanna Ave– The real site of J&M Tropical Fish. This is also where Sylvester Stallone reportedly ate 50 live goldfish on a bet posed by Carl Weathers.
15th & Callowhill St– There’s a truck that takes passport photos. It’s called Rosa Photo. In case anyone needs one.
18th & Wallace St– Home of Roberto Clemente Park and Playground, a young Will Smith got in one little ass kicking here prompting him to move to Los Angeles and pursue a television and film career.
15th & JFK Blvd– You can sometimes find the Mayor there dressed as Santa asking for donations to the city treasury.
For when all of us write something or we’re too cowardly to put a name on an article. Hey, we’d like to be employed by whatever soulless corporation did a Google search to make sure we’re not a moron! Now you won’t know which one of us is the moron and you have to hire whoever applied!